Abi's Journal

2:51pm: last night when i got home and was getting ready for bed i saw lady moon rising outside my window. she was a mild orange and i think it was the day after her being full. so i put my pillows at the other end of the bed and turned all the lights out and watched her travel across the sky. it quite quick. this happened also whilst i was listening to that moon song by The Microphones. Which ironically is what I am listening to RIGHT NOW! she cheered me up.

3:12pm: i went to a river yesterday with nick, ali and jonathan. we sat by the river bank, then nick, jonathan and i went in. the floor was sludgy mud and clay and to begin with it was cold but we soon got used to it and it felt like being in a swimming pool. the odd boat/barge passed us, sometimes with a dog inside. i swam to the otherside of the river bank. and yes climbing out of a river onto a grassy bank on summer's day is ace.

the sky too looked amazing last night.

9:57pm: there and back again
i went to cornwall fairly recently and returned too early, as the taxi drove through the town i put my head back against the seat and possibly let out a sigh...

there was a wicked thunderstorm whilst i was down there. i lay in bed staring out the window into brown nothingness and suddenly the sky would flash completly white, like God taking a picture or something. the thunder was right above the house and it made the cd player downstairs turn on, suddenly music began. fucking weird. but i guess that's lighening for you.

but yea, i totally stopped. but thats cornwall, man, a full stop. and the new sentence hasnt even begun. i like that.

4:43pm: it's the first day of spring tomorrow...

somebody prove it.

3:05pm: i went to gloucester today with a map someone drew for me, i got lost but then un-lost.

i saw the most fucking stupid article in that shitty newspaper 'The Metro' it was saying how much time we can save, something like 46 hours a year if we use a teabag instead of loose tea leafs and if we cook using a microwave. it made me throw the newspaper on the seat behind me...people forget the importantce of stopping and the fact that the more you do the less you'll live and think. they'll suffer in the long term.

12:03pm: i sat at the bus stop with two other girls who i didnt know and it was good, y know? like you know when no conversation has been spoken so there are only comfortable silences because what else can there be? and how people are completly enigmatic as much as we can judge from the outer self you wonder how much is that a fabricated image of how we want to be perceived but it can also be real. but like when you mouth starts moving all mystery desolves.

shared silence is good.

i stared at the clouds moving across the sky.

1:04pm: on my way over here i took a detour through a small park, the one with the crazy seat that has been made out of what looks like a tree trunk and the only people there was a couple kissing under a tree. it was cute. snow lay on the ground and i just rode past. it wasnt like an interruption but more like we had all come to this park for a bit of detachment from the road.

calmness can last now for a few days. i cant wait for it to stop completly.

4:53pm: turn off you tv (and phone)
unplanned events took place today, interruptions from listening to music on my bed. riding in the afternoon to the park to see you. hmm. sitting infront of life that is so simple and a man taking photographs.

we found a thousand leaves and piled them up and then jumped in them holding hands and through them into the sky. both appreciating what is beautiful about this place.

i never knew the time.

why dont people just speak to each other?

3:03pm: went to the never ending car boot today, got some items, my favorite being a keyboard i once owned, exactly the same! the one that died at the mawgans first/second gig in cheltenham. i want to make electronica ambience. listening to a lot of aphex twin of late.

jonathan and i stood in town yesterday outside HMV dressed up in 60's clothes playing rock and roll from a stereo to promote his night tonight. lots of glum looking people but also some interest and donations. this place lacks so much. good people though.

whose on the search for answers? i could do with a few...

11:15am: Yesterday I went to S on the W aka Stow On The Wold. Sam and I had a day off so on a whim the night before we decided to go.

Still a lovely little town, but strange that you can only get a single there, maybe they do like people getting stuck there, eh matthew and jo?

we sat in a grave yard on a bench eating lunch.

we left the town part and walked down a country lane and took a de-tour into a field. we saw big, green, prickly plants and the odd mushroom here and there. we found a small wood but I didnt get happy vibes from it but then we found a very alive badger set, it was wonderful. all the ground was sandy coloured where the mysterious creatures had dug up the earth below. it made me feel less unhappy about the wood because i knew beautiful life existed in it. I just wished that I could have been there for sunset.

we sat in a field with our backs to the badger set, thinking about turning around and seeing a badger behind us. we didnt. we saw feathers fall from nowhere and wondered if the white sky was just a quilt of feathers. i like when you have no destination, when you just wonder...

we did get back to cheltenham.

11:04am: dont think about what is actually happening!
yesterday i went in a hot air balloon.

it was amazing and yet so many other things as well.

the take off was gentle and smooth and it's crazy going from being the same height as people to being above birds in not very long at all. i could see my house from the air!

it did however, go a little too high for my liking and i had to sit down for about 15 minutes in the basket, i was feeling sick and jonathan said i had gone white. i could though see through a small hole in the basket.

seeing people walking about, cars driving and animals running. some people on horse back waved to us and some of us waved back, i wonder if they saw. 2 people i know saw us from the land and one of them jumped up and down shoutng my name but had no luck in getting my attention.

it was hard to comprenhend because you are outside and there is nothing blocking you from that like you have in an aeroplane. it was like we were in a world of minature, its just so hard to register.

its weird when you see all the people walking around and see how simple we all are yet so complicated, like all these people have their own thoughts, families, lives of their own. its strange. when it was over and we were driving on the road and seeing people from the usual persepctive it felt odd, like we had been told some great secret that nobody else knows.

the landing was fun. we found a field to land in but as it hit the ground hard we took off again this kept happening. i turned around and saw this wall which looked a lot bigger from the balloon and then we smashed into it and a part of the wall fell to pieces and we landed in the middle of the road just as this car was driving a long (it was not that close to us), it must have been crazy to see for the people in the car. the basket made a mark on the road as it skidded a long. and we spent one and a half-2 hours pulling the balloon out of some trees. it was sad because the balloon ripped badly and a tree was snapped in half. whilst all this was happening a beautiful sun set was behind us behind three trees. we saw the sun going down whilst being in the air.

it was really magical, scary, surreal, incredable, beautiful and amazing.

7:32pm: dont forget to celebrate the autmn equinox tomorrow. it begins ar 22.23pm

also, enjoy doing nothing, but make the balance right.

2:05pm: in hay-on-wye we went to greenman festival which was like stepping into a fairy tale or going back in time. the surroundings were beautiful. a forest one side and the edge of the breacon beacons the other. on friday night i saw a full moon rise from behind a black welsh mountain. one evening we went for a walk and found the embers of a fire in a field near the forest. so we sat there and re-lit it.

after the festival we took a detour and went to arthur's stone, which was a choit. jonathan and i went for a walk. we found a man made lake with a creek and a wooden boat, a plastic bird that looked real far away and a beautiful tree.

10:19pm: currently at grace's and two possible activities that lay before us, the night sky or familiaririty, we can fit both in. havent seen lady moon in a while. thinking about reducing the amount of tea i drink.

2:54pm: from avebury to glastonbury to cornwall and then onto the scillies, meeting someone whose path is almost exactly the same with weird coincidences. the world sure is a small place. saw the golden path and the milky way (for the first time in my life) and today i go back to the real world and i dont feel ready. i have to stop waiting...

4:49pm: And so it began...
i woke up this morning at 5 something due to being so hot and thirsty, i went down to get a drink and went into the garden, i then thought 'ooh, i shall bring the video camera out and add more to the number 15 documenatry' and so i did. the garden was peaceful. i climbed the ladder and sat/lay on the roof, filming birds, clouds, myself. i could feel the heat pouring out of my room through the window, crazy. i then went back to bed and lay awake till 9 or maybe 10. i did venture into town after joyfully recieving glastonbury tickets to purchase milk and chocolate digestives.

6:20am: As the twilight deepens, it shines with increasing brilliance.
Last night Tristan, Joe and Rich's band 'Grose Jar' played at The Two Pigs and it was so fucking cool! They were going absolutley crazy as were we but the fuckers that they are at the pigs, switched the power off after five minutes. it pisses me off so much. a band with complete passion and so much expression just gets destroyed because its different, how is this place possibly meant to progress if it closes its eyes to anything new and different. it was so exhilirating and influential.

and the kids of today. going home before they came on, where's the punk attitude gone? now it involves getting picked up by your dad because you've got school tomorrow. the band before playing "walking on sunshine" TWICE! whats going on with this generation?

6:08pm: They are preoccupied with how they look, they don't even realise that they are living.
Last night after i went out, my friend Jemma and I sat on the roof listening to Massive Attack. I ate bangers and mash and we both drunk decaffinated Earl Grey. The stars were out but the clouds soon hid them. I laid down and looked at the Plough and some stars shapped like a 'W'. what planet is out at the moment? a new moon tonight.

1:47pm: people who are worried they'll forget their memories.
My time here in cornwall has been friggin' great.

over the last couple of days i have gone on the 'beat the boundary' walk, a cycle on the camel trail, seen some old friends who i havent seen in a long while, had a fire and bbq in a wood and been to the beach, again attempted the sea but still painfully cold. the spot where we had the fire was almost too perfect, 2 large tree trunks which we could move and sit on, close to the river, lots of kindling, dead wood and stones near by, a tree stump to rest the guitars on and a tree with a branch to hang your coat on, even if it was a little high. whilst there i thought that this really is the life. we really dont need half the shit we have, we put meaning into objects, they are JUST objects, possesions. most memories can stay with you forever if you want them too.

It feels like ive been away from cheltenham for ages and its only been just over 2 weeks. i miss number 15 (and jemma) and the lovely people who live there, it feels as though i havent seen them in so long but many stories shall be shared, which i look forward to.

this chapters coming to an end.

5:05pm: what matters doesnt matter and what doesnt matter, matters.
Left the sunny roof of 'nam and friends and caught a train an hour late. going through Brizzle at night listening to squarepusher was dead good but the lights on the train were too bright which is good i guess because i could have easily have fallen asleep. the sun set was amazing. he was so big in the sky with no clouds near him just this giant ball of fire. beautiful. we're all darn lucky.

over these past few days i have met many people who i share the world with but are infact from a whole entire different planet, one that i really dont want to be apart of. you know if someone was to offer me a thousand pounds or beautiful conuntryside with a rising or setting sun it would be the latter any day.

seeing the sea today was so good and also fucking freezing, so much so that it was painful.

i hope everyone is having a beautiful first day of spring.

3:50pm: i had another astronomy dream where earth was just a statue in a town somewhere.

was i slipped the answer?

are there seven levels (in paul mccartney's head)?

9:55am: planets
i had a scary dream last night where it was getting into evening and i think i may have been in st. stephen and i saw the moon in the sky but it looked very small, but then later i realised it wasnt the moon but jupiter and then all the other planets appeared but even bigger than that, some the size of the moon when its full some bigger. Then rising from the horixon was a gigantic saturn about the same size as an areoplane if it were still on the ground. this was scary. ive had a dream like this before. i think this is my new fear. the old one being looking up at the sky and it is covered by just moon because its so close to earth.

i just found out that apart from handing some work in on friday semester 2 doesnt start until the first/second week in february.

11:56pm: Aliens is such a cool film.

1:47pm: last night i went to rock beach at about 10pm with my mum and dowgs. it was a full moon and the beach was amazing, it was so bright, it was like it had been lit up by a flood light. i heart the moon. i wrote on the sand "im here, under moonlight - it's so bright. have a beautiful day xxx" i wonder if anyone read it this morning.

9:12pm: i can't take my eyes off her.
the winter solstice at the hurlers with my dad was ace. we missed the beginning of the rising but the drive over there we had it right infront of us. and then i sat myself on one of the stones and played guitar whilst continuing to watch the day being born. then i went skipping around and in the stones.